You’ve got to admire how blockbuster movies of a certain genre have one underlying theme;
One person, superhero, organisation, pitted against another. One is saintly, world swaying GOOD. The other, wicked and oh-so ruthless.
The drive behind the plot?
‘We have a fight on our hands.’
Sometimes, often, we get a LOVE side-narrative thrown in the mix.
‘Even though we’ve got to fight for our lives, it all makes sense in the end, because the winner wins, and the love interests finally … well, finally ride into the sunset and stuff…’
Many of us can watch this ‘story’ over and over, in various superlative forms, and still get a kick from it. We love a good drama. We applaud a ‘noble’ fight. We relish a tear jerking romance.
On some level, we play this story out over and over in our own lives.
Who in your life have you got a ‘bit of beef with’ at the moment..? Your mother? Your neighbour? Your boss?
What about smaller clashes..?
Doggedly chasing the council that issued you a parking fine..? Getting stroppy with the waiter that spilled coffee in your saucer? Having a spit with your friend or partner over… well, whatever…
How important is it to you that you are always RIGHT, no matter what? How much do you need to drive your point home to reprove and revalidate your ‘smarts’ …. even while falling into exhausting clashes..?
It’s so seductive and so easy to fall into the ‘ring.’ And stay there. We walk around with an innate, unexamined sense of ‘I’ve got to prove my worth’… without even realising that that is, indeed, what is driving us.
If we harbour an unexamined suspicion that we are almost, but ‘not-quite’ up-to-scratch, we invariably come out fighting… or… we retreat and carry a burden of quiet resentment. A cruel dichotomy huh?
Yet, not one of us, standing in any room, is unendingly good, or unendingly bad. We are made up of the same colours that move through the day.
Marauding clouds. Hopeful sunshine. Bleakest nights. Brilliant dawns.
Nor are any of us designed to improve our self-worth by being ‘saved by the great love of our life.’
Makes for a great movie, but not for a remarkable life.
Sure, the rhetoric we hear from the personal development gurus gets drawn-out and boring at times… but…where there is repetition, there is often a message;
When the audio is off, Netflix is down, the kids are in bed, the emails are answered; there is only one of us left standing.
Usually, that’s the Being we’re actually fighting with.
Ourselves. Or inner self. Sometimes we’re pushing back against unconscious urges, or straining away from subconscious layering from our past, and at other times, we’re fighting who we have become.
How do we move beyond ‘the fight?’
At the risk of sounding trite, it truly is pretty simple.
We’ve got to work out how to like ourselves … when we are by ourselves.